Like a lot of moms out there, I have spent my past few months (or years) functioning on little sleep. The smallest has found the hours of midnight & four a.m. his favorites for small talk, snuggles and high pitched screams. Between the sleepless nights and a rewarding yet full work schedule, I have been pondering how I can continue doing what I love to do with such little energy.
One night, rocking him to sleep, my eyes filled with tears. I asked in the dark for anyone who would listen for strength, for patience, for light, for energy, for peace. After I got back to my own bed, I felt guilty for the request. How could I be so selfish. What about everyone else out there who truly needs support more than me? I retracted my request to the universe and asked that my prayers be given to the single mommas out there, the military mommas, to anyone who felt lonely, sick, tired, needed the love more than I did.
The next day, a dear friend & sweet soul reminded me that there is not a finite amount of energy & light in the universe. My request does not mean that someone else does not receive. Instead, I need to believe and accept the light so I can continue to be strong for myself, my family & everyone else in the world that I want to impact.
I have been praying (meditating, asking, whatever you believe in...) more often. On my nightly solo walks, I focus on not getting rid of my struggles but bringing more light & energy my way so that I can courageously learn from each opportunity that comes my way.