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"How often do you feel stuck or down on yourself and need to pull yourself up?" I had to pause when a friend asked me this over coffee. My response, "umm, every day." Although I have daily collisions with this feeling, what I have become practiced at is how quickly I can pull myself up. What do I need to pull myself up from?

  • Comparing myself to others

  • Doubting my abilities

  • Anxiety around what is next for my career

  • Feeling unfocused or not creative

  • Dropping the ball

  • Misalignment of my values with how I live my life

  • Wondering if...Am I doing enough? Am i doing too much? Is it all worth it? Am i worth it?

The list goes on...can you relate? If so, welcome to the Human Experience. I consider this to be quite normal. Every single client I work with and friend that I talk to has a similar struggle. Our work is not to be hard on ourselves for feelings this way, instead acquire and employ a set of tools to reckon with the struggle. Here is a glimpse into my toolbox: Roladex No, I don't have a physical roladex, but I do have a mental one. The days when I have more misses than wins at work, the story I make up is: "You are not good at your job. Pack it up." After I take a moment to commiserate with myself and feel the feels, I open my mental roladex and use the beautiful prompt from Byron Katie, "How do I know this is true?" My personal roladex is filled with experiences that are in powerful opposition to the story I made up. They instead affirm that the work that I do is valuable, supportive, creative and worthy. It is 20+ years of thick feedback directly from clients about the positive impact that I made vs. a momentary blip of self-doubt. Phone a Friend My whole body sighs when someone says, "Yeah, I have experienced that too." Sharing what we are processing can untether us from what feels so heavy. Verbalizing our feelings with a trusted listener can help us excavate the muck that impairs the truth. When I hear myself processing with a friend, my ears are more alert to the bullshit that my ego makes up about the situation. The combination of their space holding and affirmation that I am not alone helps me quickly track towards wholeness again. Just Do It With my roladex in hand, I take a moment to reflect on some of my biggest wins and truths about who I am. I then deconstruct those moments...Who was I with? What was I doing? Where was I? Why did it bring me joy? With some good data in hand, I make a plan to reawaken that joy and deep trust in myself. My goal is to accumulate more moments that point to who I really am. A collection of inner validation nuggets that I can tap into when I experience self-doubt. Friends, what is in your tool kit when you need a soulful kick in the pants? I'd love to hear!

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